Ph.D.

Current Mood:

Sebas’ fav

On my 3rd nibling’s 3rd born day I went to my favorite hidden water spot l’acosta. As I walked to an isolated space for me, my hammock and food etc I noticed garbage. SO, I walked around a bit picking up trash until washed up on the shore was a bag full of fruit: a large papaya, two oranges, a red apple, a green apple and a pear.

My first thought was that it was an offering.

I had a lovely nap and then spent some time in the thigh-high water.

My body remembers what my mind tries to forget
or, rather, my mind finds creative ways of remembering

May 2011 big events occurred in my life and my body knew now.

So I am here

at the EdGE of the uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuniverssssssse
on the Calusa coast
de Abya Yala

yupaychani An-ti

yupaychani Yaku

I feel no guilt anymore
I would like more parts of my day to envelopE me in J O Y

Passez de toi is a wholeasss mood
Haterz gonna hate. That’s a theme.

I think I will take a year of being in Tulsa, to decide what I’m doing from here on in thru future experiences. What will carry me thru this next etapa? How do I find my spaces and make space for those most marginalized without compromising my values and joy?

Some people just bring me grief and I spent way too much time trying to figure out why I dislike them so much when it is simple. My body remembers! Also, my loved ones remember!!!

I have been reminded in multiple ways thru flora, fauna, humxns, the weather, dreams, intuition, and my actual research that some vibes are detrimental to my be. Like, my existence and my livelihood is literally diminished by my experiences with some people. Some people make me not want to exist. Some raise me up.

That’s that.

It makes me very sad. Yo se que un dia volveras, TristaPena. Para vivir. Ya lo siento. Ya!

Eb

I am the protector of Bob & Marley
I have formatting to do.
I need my own space
I need to create
I need to envision

be around visionaries
be loved on the spot
be trusted and reciprocally respected, admired

people know my ideas are wild
AND NECESSARY
necessary
needed, wanted, called-for, absolutely required
for us all

Some of these people just ain’t convincing. You’re already feeding me a story – I ain’t about you
let me figure it out my damn self

Y lo que no sirve ya no lo reciclo

Purging actually feels good

It’s comical how difficult, how many goddamn barriers were placed between me and some people. Pachamama dice nah, get the fuck away BEWARE and beware and beware… the iguana will bite those who do not dream

SOmetimes you can’t convince me of who y0u want me to see because my eyes can decipher your constructions
i see who you’re trying to show me
i smelL the synthetic
i feel the artificiality

paper has NO nutritional value

y si el negro no se duerme viene el diablo blanco y tas le muerde la patita la patita la patita

your ways of being need a VAST VAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSST improvement

if we mean to survive all this
to thrive

give it all up

start anew

A NEW INTENTIONAL EMPATHIC UNITED OBSERVANT WAY
LET your ways be swayed by those whose lives are flourishing wildly beautifully
revolutionary

———————————————————–
I spent the 3rd anniversary of tio Ulibio’s passing with a self-described-White-passing-sometimes “bro” at the beach and with good Mexican food and some dank flowers

21 May 2020

There’s a Brit to my left saying he lives here
and an asshole obnoxious douche-sounding dude yapping aimlessly at him about him living here too

My Mahi sandwich with broccoli and asparagus was delicious. I ate 2 meals of my day just now at this grill by the private beach “on” the private resort which is predominately comprised of shockingly pale-coloured bodies aujourd’hui. Some are the color of the white sand. literally

This will be my last post on W@ndering Testimonios. I will start a new blog beginning with post grad ideas, thoughts, creations, pieces of my new life elsewhere x q SIGUE LA LUCHA x q va

22 May

White Guilt is useless and I’m sick of hearing about it here on Calusa, Tocobaga, Taino and Seminole Lands. Some of the Black and brown bodies get it too. Do your best and stfu. quit actin yt, gross!!!

For the yts that may be reading this, check out this list

24 May

01:45

Excitement is back. A few hours ago I chatted with a beautiful Black vegan family who felt connected

I have felicity. I get to travel with one of my favorite people this month here and next month westward

I am happy to build community here right now with beautiful brilliant bountiful and joy-filled Black and Brown bodies. I look forward to being in my city soon. I am thrilled to be getting NYC salary soon, I hope…. insurance will be nice

36 feels right

I FUCKIN GOT MY PH.D.

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