During OWS in 2011 there was constant music and other noise, coffee made from bicycle peddling, food, clothing, housing sharing and distribution, and print screening. Close to Zuccotti Park were many touristy shops, one of which sold cheap I ❤ NYC tees, about $1 a piece if you bought bulk. I had the idea of printing on the famous tees and I loved the look. I threw out the stained tee just before leaving NYC this year not quite knowing the purpose for me keeping it any longer. I’ve been thinking about OWS and that time in my life where I pieced together my place and who I ought be. The journey of this version of myself began there, on my 25th birthday tattooing SOLIDARIDAD on my left rib-cage in red ink (which I am both allergic to and was told would look bad on my skin). I put it there, hide-able, to not be visible to all. This is my anti-colonial journey.
I forget to breathe
I forget to love loudly
I forget that I can interrupt generational trauma by healing
I forget to love myself
So many of you have taught me ways of healing
My Luz and my Lucia, Sam, Ayanna, Ruby, Angeli, Luis, Thomas, Marcos, Brian…
I forget to breathe
Joss told me it’s an air-sign quality
I was born under and Aquarius sun & moon
Someone told me Taurus rising, another told me Libra rising
Yall aint shocked – my movements are not hidden
I forget to breathe
This affects everything from physical wellness
to clarity of thought
to behavior
At first glance or talk with me, you do not get all of me
My actions are not easily deciphered by everyone
I act out of need, not to show
I don’t interrupt you because I don’t like what you have to say
My brain is overloaded and you’ve just added to that load
I’m not upset with you
I interrupt when I can’t contain what’s in my head
It does not mean I love you less
On the contrary
I love that you’ve given me more to consider
I forget to breathe
I will still fight with you, not always visibly or out loud
Deleting you from social media is not an indication of my affinity for you
it is about safety
some of yall make me feel unsafe
Like my identities are cause for concern
Like my way of life deserves punishments or rewards
If you uphold the systems that oppress me and my people
I will love you from a distance only
I am constantly worried about my safety
YES, it is absolutely tied to all my unsafe experiences
I forget to breathe
this capitalist patriarchy taught me to hold my breath
to think without oxygen
to act without lifeforce
to follow its rules without understanding purpose or reason
I forget to breathe
but today I will remember to inhale life
and exhale the death of that detrimental way of being
Yesterday afternoon I had symptoms of allergies: sneezing, itching

No one else in my cohort felt like Max
Confirmed
1,473
|
Recovered
–
|
Deaths
41
|
Confirmed
41,923
+941
|
Recovered
–
|
Deaths
1,779
+44
|
Confirmed
1.4M
+21,475
|
Recovered
237K
|
Deaths
83,115
+1,463
|
Confirmed
4.29M
+82,591
|
Recovered
1.51M
|
Deaths
293K
+4,261
|