XXXIV

Current Mood: La Llorona
I start in the middle of a sentence and move both directions at once.
 – John Coltrane
Did I already write this?
#makebillionairespay
I’m currently in a very noisy silence-imposed structured symmetrical matching neighborhood… who gives a fuck if the lawn is mowed right now? You just fuckin mowed it last week! It’s not that long.
conversaciones dentro
Then there’s this: This
I crave generative conversations about explorations, ideas, investigations, seeding the future, re/imagining spaces, experimentation, creations, building, crafting…
I need to be around more artists
I am not amused by the quotidien
c’est ennuyant
Boredom is not a burden anyone should bear
I am a walking contradiction, just wait it out… I’ll make sense soon. Then you will be behind. What you see is not what you get. Some are shocked that a few minutes pumping gas gives me profound insight into human conditions few are writing about. I don’t care if you care. But I also want you to support it all.
Sorry not sorry. No, I’m truly unapologetic. I decided to be this person I am today. I chose this life for myself. What’s the point of you wasting your breath?
Somehow 35 came very differently. Physical pain is flabbergasting. How do I get injured from stretching? Is this real life? My curls sit just above my shoulders now.
just below with heat applied
my skin is still very sensitive
my nails strong and long today
Hoy azul
7 symbols are inked onto my skin, 10 holes
I have but 2 greys: a lash and a pube. My body hurts, sometimes with pleasure, from green to purple on most days. My left side is beat up from bike and car accidents, sports injuries and posture. My back is stiff, usually aching at one or multiple spots. My belly hangs. I developed a pouch at 26. Both arms have carpal tunnel and ulnar palsy at varying degrees, I’ve had surgery to fix my right wrist, to remove my gallbladder, to see 20/20 (from -7 & -6.5 contact lenses and thick frames).
I don’t make my bed, I like being naked, I love eating out of containers as I’m cooking from pans or from the fridge.
Please please do not ever tell me what I want to hear.
“Statefarm is now making real-time decisions,” the ad states. Why aren’t Real Time Decisions a thing? #ohright #neoliberallogiciswack , I argue in this chapter that a more nuanced understanding of the art form is needed.

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